thoughts

Tuesday Thoughts

I’ve been in a funk. Not a “hide in a dark room” kind of funk, but in one nonetheless. I’ve been buying useless shit to feel joy instead of doing things to bring me joy. I’ve been avoiding the outdoors and finding any excuse to stay in bed all morning instead of soaking up the good weather. I recently suffered from a stomach bug, which brought all of this up to the surface.

I had to spend 3-4 days in bed and resting to realize things aren’t great in my head.  I’ve had no urge to do anything, haven’t felt good about my body, and certainly haven’t felt productive. My weekly blogs have suffered, but I’ve lacked creativity anyway. I feel this year has been a series of these bad spells, worse than many of the years before. Thinking back, it’s pronab much like 2005 which was easily one of the worst years on memory. When I think about, 2014 wasn’t great either because years like 2006 and 2015 exist where I look back and seem like I was living out of body and out of sorts. It was kind of a depression hangover fueled by selfishness and crazy decisions about life. So many parallels between those years. I am much more level headed these days, so hopefully the rebound is more level also. I’m hopeful I’ll rebound into nature and good choices again.

I am working on a plan to “get to my happy place” over the next few days. I need to exercise, for both physical and mental health. I need to eat a little better, so my clothes fit again. I need to stop spending and work out a strict budget. I need to figure out 2019 and what we have to save and prioritize for thought the year. I have a lot to figure out, but I know building a routine will help my brain and I look forward to regular, thoughtful posts. 

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#MondayMotivation - Journal Time!

In trying to write my big four part series of the road trips that started it all, I've been finding more and more little journals all over the place.  I have some devoted to travel, one for thoughts, a few with scribbles that aren't important, and a few more that are just empty.  Reading through has been helpful, insightful, and of course reflective.

Travel

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I have three travel journals, I think there's one more somewhere though, because I tend to forget them when I actually travel.  The original, started in 2008, documents the second, third, and fourth spring break trips, a trip to Minnesota and Michigan, and a few nights I was in West Texas for work.  A second journal, bought in Alaska, has details from my 2017 trip to Alaska, a camping trip to New Mexico, the drive home from Portland, and my 2017 BFF trip last year to Utah.  I have a THIRD journal is specific to my recent trip to the Olympic Peninsula earlier this year, and only has one or two pages of writing.  I'm debating how to go forward with these journals.  Obviously, step one, is to be more mindful about bringing a journal along and restricting myself from buying a new one.  Step two is to remember to record things that pop into my head - either as a voice note or in the designated journal.  Step three, probably the most important, is to slow down and take everything in.  You can be efficient while enjoying everything and remembering it.

The original travel journal has a lot of funny quotes, phrases I can't quite understand, and writing from everyone on the trip.  It is a special piece of the past and I honestly think I didn't really continue writing in it because trips like those didn't happen anymore.  Making peace with the way things used to be and moving forward is what I'm doing and I'll continue to fill it in for years to come.

Thoughts

My thoughts journal is my most personal.  It contains those thoughts you can't say aloud or to anyone else, but need to put them somewhere other than your head.  This particular thought journal started in 2015 and has a few gaps in there, but has something from every year.  When something is just too big, good or bad, I write it down.  By writing it down, I'm breaking it apart and finding whatever it wholly is, it's just pieces put together.

The Motivation Part (or whatever)

I don't know how inspirational or motivating this post is, but it's just a way for me to highlight that writing or recording thoughts can be a helpful exercise in maintaining some clarity.  If I didn't have the website, these journals, or my phone (for recording thoughts while driving), I'd probably be even more anxious and scatterbrained.  I encourage anyone to scribble for a bit and see what it does for you.  Maybe writing it all out will help organize your thoughts, or maybe it will do nothing for you.  Either way, it's worth a shot.

#MondayMotivation - Help your fellow trees!

One of my favorite things to see in the forest is new trees, ferns, or mosses growing from logs or stumps.  Trees never die, they just help each other out in the circle of life.  Queue the song from the Lion King.  But, seriously, if we took a lesson from this and offered to help one another a bit more, we would probably achieve a better balance.  Think about it.  Help someone!  Maybe you're just a sounding board for someone - you could be the stump, and their idea could be the new tree.  Maybe you need a log or stump to help you grow?  Who knows?  Take a moment to think about it, if it makes any sense at all.... enjoy these photos of trees or plants growing out of other trees or plants.

All of the organisms in an ecosystem work together, and I think we need to rethink our human ecosystem sometimes and see how we can exist more like the plants in these photos.