Remember who you are

I think I get depressed because I lose sight of the real me and what I want in this world. I am quick to get caught up in finding things to do, focusing on everything that is wrong with my life, or trying to find a mate. None of this is wrong, really, but it can be distracting if not balanced with actual living.

Now that I’m home, in Duluth, I’m really focusing on the the things that matter to me. I’m sorting out what I need and want and figuring out how to get those things. Also, I say home because it really does feel like home. I’ve wanted to live here for years, I’ve been visiting for even more years, and now I get to make it my own.

I went for a walk through a park in the city this weekend and it was was glorious. I’ve forgotten what it was like just wandering through a park. Yesterday, I went up the North Shore and did a short little walk along a river to a waterfall. I felt so at home this past weekend and I look forward to having that feeling every day that I’m here. I have no intent to leave this place, providing there isn’t some job related disaster, so it feels good to settle in to a forever type of situation. Nothing has felt more natural than living here.

Being outside and being able to enjoy the outside are top priorities to me. For me, that means being more active and being less lazy or mindless about how I consume life (food, media, etc). I need to be more mindful of how I’m spending my time anyway, it’s always a work in progress. I’m grateful to work from home and grateful to have the lake right outside the door. Life has vastly improved by just being here - physically and mentally. I have a small, manageable space with proximity to water. I can sit at my desk and listen to the waves. I can read a book and listen to the waves. I can walk the beach, plop my ass in the sand, and listen to the waves. Life is good.

Remember what you want, what you need, and who you really are inside.